


Seams

by JeniceM



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Body Dysphoria, Bucky's Arm, Gen, I might continue who knows, more of a drabble than an actual fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeniceM/pseuds/JeniceM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky was the Soldier, he didn't think about anything, it wasn't his place. But as he slowly becomes himself again there is so much to think about it is overwhelming, he can't help but notice a part of himself that doesn't seem to fit however. And he isn't the only one who thinks so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seams

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a response to this prompt someone sent me on tumblr: Bucky’s relationship with his arm. Does he love it? Hate it? Not think about it at all? Damn, I might have to write this one myself.
> 
> Turned out a little more depressing than I had originally aimed for but that's life isn't it....If you'd like me to continue let me know and I might oblige :)

For the longest time it was nothing more to him than an appendage that was capable of extensive damage, much like the rest of him. It was useful in his work, stronger than his other arm to a measurable degree and much more durable. He didn’t think about it beyond consideration of his capabilities in any given situation, judging the course of action that would employ the most efficiency, and precision. It was something like a well used gun to him. Familiar and comfortable in as much a way as anything was to the Winter Soldier.

But then there was the man on the bridge.

Life changed, as it tends to, and the Winter Soldier was slowly driven out by one Bucky Barnes. He’d never be completely gone, the arm was one of many testaments to that, but slowly things changed.

Every situation was no longer life or death, strangers faces were not categorized by threat level, he did not have to have eyes on every exit at all times. He began to look in the mirror. To inspect his own skin and features as if looking for some sort of fastening, a tiny string of buttons, a zipper, something he could open up that would reveal the real him underneath, whomever that might be.

The only thing that seemed out of place upon inspection was the arm. Standing out in stark contrast with the scarred skin on his shoulder that resembled a seam, as if it was sewn on, a replacement limb for a broken doll.

Trained to observe, it didn’t take long for Bucky to realize that the arm stood out as different to everyone, not just himself. He noticed the other’s eyes straying to it on different occasions, pretending they weren’t looking, that they didn’t notice it. At first it seemed similar to his own curiosity, but things became clearer to him as time passed.

The way Natasha would stiffen ever so slightly if he moved the arm too quickly, like she was preparing for a blow. The way Steve’s eyes tightened around the edges when the light reflected off it, as if reminding him it was there. The way he drew his hand back in an instant if the cold metal accidentally made contact. The glove he was gifted by Sam he was supposed to wear whenever in public, to avoid causing panic. The calculating expression on Tony Stark’s face when he viewed it that made Bucky’s blood run cold. The forcedly blank face Clint wore when he used it to snatch an arrow out of the air.

It wasn’t really a conscious decision, but in relatively short order he began avoiding its use. He only used his right hand to pick things up, to hand things to others or to take them in turn. It often found its way into a sweatshirt pocket to remain there the entire day and when Steve stumbled over his words when Bucky removed the glove upon a return to the tower, as if it startled him, Bucky simply stopped removing the glove.

At times he would feel along the line where jagged skin met cold, sleek metal and wonder if he could pry them apart and find the missing parts of Bucky Barnes that Steve always seemed to be looking for.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment or come check me out on Tumblr at vitaminsobsession.tumblr.com 
> 
> I'm still accepting prompts for Winter Soldier ;) please gen only!


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